Guest Wimbledon Preview! (courtesy of John Lorenz)

Men’s Draw
Round of 16
Federer v. Ferrero – Ah, the battle of tennis players who look like pirates... I’m glad to see Juan Carlos back in the mix of things. The one time French Open champ and #1 in the world has been plagued with injuries for about a year and a half. Unfortunately, this is Federer on grass. Federer in 3.
Gonzalez v. Youzhny – I know a little about Gonzalez and nothing about Youzhny. My instincts say never pick the South American on grass, but he hits it really hard. Gonzalez in 4.
Hewitt v. Dent – Tradition says take the serve and volleyer on grass. But Hewitt’s won it once from the baseline, and while Dent will give him trouble... C’MON! Hewitt in 5.
Ancic v. Lopez – Lopez is the oddest player on tour – a Spanish left-handed serve and volleyer. Ancic serves and volleys as well. Get ready to see 8 million points at net. Ancic in 3.
Mirnyi v. Johansson – The Beast v. the Consistent Swede – aka the most illegitimate major winner of the last decade. Mirnyi should mop up on grass but is totally inconsistent. Johansson has had a resurgence. Mirnyi in 4 tiebreaks.
Nalbandian v. Gasquet – Nalbandian beats one teenager only to face another. I think he loses this time. Gasquet in 4.
Grosjean v. Tursonov – Grosjean is surly and French. He also serves and volleys and always had his greatest success on grass. Grosjean in 3.
Coria v. Roddick – My instincts say never pick the South American on grass. Roddick in 3.
Quarters
Federer v. Gonzalez – Federer in 3. (This needs an explanation?)
Hewitt v. Ancic – One time when my girlfriend asked if I wanted to watch Wimbledon I replied, “I’ve seen this one before. Henman loses to Roddick in the Semis, who loses to Federer in the finals.” I then ended up losing a 5 dollar bet when this crazy Ancic kid beat Henman in the quarters. Ancic in 4.
Mirnyi v. Gasquet – I don’t really know much about Gasquet, but Mirnyi seems like the kind of guy who has 1 or 2 crazy runs at a major title from nowhere a la Ivanesivic or Krajicek. Mirnyi in 5.
Grosjean v. Roddick – Roddick in 3. (He hits it REALLY hard.)
Semis
Federer v. Ancic – Ancic could really work Federer over I think. This is one guy he does not want to play if he’s not at the top of his game. But still... Federer in 4.
Roddick v. Mirnyi – The real question is, who’s going to return either of these guys’ serves? Whoever does wins. ***UPSET SPECIAL – Mirnyi in 4 tiebreaks***
Finals
Federer v. Myrnyi – Did I just pick a Federer v. Mirnyi final? I am officially unqualified to talk about tennis. Federer defeats Roddick in 4 sets. (Consider my bet officially hedged...)
Women’s Draw
Round of 16
Davenport v. Clijsters - **MATCH OF THE DAY ALERT** - I’m going out on a limb and saying whoever wins this wins Wimbledon. Davenport in 3.
Maleeva v. Kuznetsova – Kuznetsova in 2 – she’s good...
Mauresmo v. Likhovtseva – The question of every women’s draw is which round will the inevitable collapse of Ameile Mauresmo occur? Is it this one? No. Mauresmo in 2.
Myskina v. Dementieva – A couple of bipolar Russians who wish they could bypass the serve and go straight to groundstrokes. Who needs a serve anyway on grass? Can I flip a coin? Dementieva in 2 because Myskina has never looked stable on grass.
Pennatta v. Pierce – Mark must be happy about the play of Mary Pierce over the past month. Pierce in 2.
Williams v. Craybas – Vengence is mine! Williams in 2.
Petrova v. Peschke – Petrova v. who? Petrova in 2.
Sharapova v. Dechy – Sharapova’s mouth must be watering over her side of the draw. Dechy might be her toughest opponent until the finals. Sharapova in 2.
Quarters
Davenport v. Kuznetsova – Wow... there’s a lot of parity in the women’s game. I’m not confident Davenport will beat “Thunder Thighs” Clijsters. I’m not confident she’ll beat Kuznetsova. But she was my pick to click and I’m not gonna change! Davenport in 3.
Mauresmo v. Dementieva – I’d say Mauresmo would meltdown in the Quarters but Dementieva beats her too it with an ill conceived mind game strategy. Mauresmo in 2.
Pierce v. Williams – Pierce has been playing better tennis, but I’m a sucker for Venus Williams whom I believe has just been playing possum for the past 3 years only to unleash her grand scheme at the 2005 Championships. That or she’s just not as good as she used to be. Williams in 3.
Sharapova v. Petrova – Sharapova is by far the most stable of the Russians and quite frankly too attractive to lose before the semis. Sharapova over Petrova in 2.
Semis
Davenport v. Mauresmo – Mauresmo meltdown alert! Although, if Mauresmo played Sharapova in the finals, do you think she’d, um, you know... make a pass at Maria? (C’mon, you’re all thinkin’ it... )Davenport in 3.
Sharapova v. Williams – The way everything has gone, this is Sharapova’s tournament to win. She’s a proven winner. So I’m picking Venus Williams. Williams in 3.
Finals
Davenport v. Williams – Someone please inform me this is 2005, not 2001, and I meant to pick Clijsters against Sharapova. Anyway, Davenport in 2.

So there it is... the truth. I think I’ve overstayed my welcome, and my picks are probably grossly inaccurate. But take one thing from my so called expertise – never pick the South American or Spaniard in the 2nd week – unless its Feliciano Lopez whom I refuse to acknowledge as Spanish. See you in September when I will pick all 7 rounds of the US Open.