Hiatus.

I am going on hiatus until the end of the quarter, unless something ridiculous that requires my immediate attention occurs.

My Nuggets of Wisdom...

Ah, so I'm getting tired of debating about pharmacies, Wal-Marts, and the like, but I can't let arguments die sometimes. This is why I'm so apathetic about so many topics, by the way... I really hate any sort of spirited discussion, and I would much rather care about a very small subset of things; mainly sports-related.

Two days ago, I described the Nuggets as being a team that was "on another plane of existence." The Nuggets seem utterly mysterious to me; and I've got plenty to say about those rascals, so I'll get things kick-started right now.

Denver is the worst three-point shooting team in the NBA. They had one goal for the off-season, and that was to get somebody who could shoot. Instead, they managed not to sign anyone who could shoot, (banking on the fabulous Vanishing Voshon Lenard instead), and are subsequently relying on a guy who is five foot five to be the bomber on that team.

Interestingly enough, Kiki Vandeweghe, the Nuggets' GM, was given a couple of draft picks to try to fix this mess this year, but didn't really seem to know what to do with them, so he passed up one Francisco Garcia to take one Julius Hodge, who is currently tearing up the D-League. Kiki, just today, traded Lenard for Ruben Patterson, who should instantly fit in with this team full of mystery. Can he shoot? Is he stable? Will he commit a homicide? Nobody knows.

Still, for not being able to shoot, Denver sure can score. Their shooting percentage is relatively decent, and they average over 100 points a night. This is a good thing; Denver doesn't seem to be too interested in playing defense. This is interesting- the Nuggets have Marcus Camby, who is widely considered to be one of the best defensive players on the planet. Heck, even Kenyon Martin should be good on defense, but nobody is too sure what it is that K-Mart really does for that team. K-Mart is a microcosm of the Nuggets- he's an interesting, talented dude, but his impact and role is sort of nebulous, and it's widely thought of that he wastes too much of his talent playing poor basketball.

And so it is with Denver. Their starting five is effective, considering they play with basically only four guys at a shot who are able to score. Greg Buckner and Francisco Elson get major minutes to play defense, even though they're like Bruce Bowen without the talent. I guess this should change now that Patterson is around, but who knows? Ruben Patterson almost died at the hands of Zach Randolph, so he's got some baggage going to Denver with him. The Nuggets now also have the services of one Reggie Evans, a guy I can't stand, mainly because he's learning how to play from Danny Fortson, and that should be disallowed. I don't see how he's different from the rest of their team, but there are many things I don't understand with the Nuggets. The one constant on their team, Andre Miller, can't shoot a lick, but he's got the subtle effectiveness of John Stockton. Thus, Carmelo Anthony is given the ball and is allowed to shoot at will, putting him in line with Vince and T-Mac as part of the next great group of scorers. With all the talent, you would think Denver would be either a lot better or a lot worse, yet they're decidedly above average, which is a mystery to me.

Why is George Karl coaching this team? Nobody knows, because he's certainly ambivalent toward it. Remember last year? Karl cared, and the Nuggets won. Now, with virtually the same exact team, the Nuggets aren't winning as much in a conference that is decidedly worse, in my opinion. Why is that? I guess the Nuggets have been injured, with Nene out most of the year, but their defense is also worse, which is hard to explain, considering the fact that if your team can't shoot effectively from long-distance, they're generally composed of more "defense-oriented guys," and with Buckner, Elson, K-Mart, and Camby, the Nuggets definitely have those guys.

Denver has almost all the pieces, which, for some reason, fit together in a way they aren't supposed to. It's remarkable that this team is where it is, whatever that means. It's also remarkable that the Nuggets had thought about trading for Allen Iverson; because there's a trade that would seem to make no sense for them, but then again, I'm woefully unqualified to decide what is and what isn't with regard to this franchise. Really, it hurts just to think about it.

Stevie Franchise traded to New York.

I don't know about the rest of "y'all," but I am quite psyched to see Steve Francis on the Knicks. I have a feeling that watching Knicks games could soon be among the best experiences of anyone's life. While I don't want to go into detail on this, the sheer enormity of the situation is causing my fingers to do unnatural things, and I might be inclined to type for the entire night on this. Also, my favorite episode of ATHF is on, so I'm inspired.

For one thing, Isiah Thomas, arguably the worst general manager ever to exist in any sport, has somehow managed to one-up himself in sheer ludicrosity. Isiah, who obviously plays a lot of fantasy basketball in a league that only counts points, has now managed to find five scorers who aren't really too keen on passing. I can't help but wonder if he has some sort of hidden grudge against Larry Brown that we don't know about.

I hope we get to see the Rose-Marbury-Francis-Curry-Crawford lineup at some point. It could be the most amazing thing in the world. I actually think Francis is further along as a point guard than Marbury, if that's even possible.

Isiah may have actually forgotten who was on his roster when making this deal; clearly there's no room at the inn for Jamal Crawford, who is behind Francis and Marbury now as a scoring option and doesn't really bring anything to the table as a passer. He'll have to go, though his energy and relative professionalism will be missed. Quentin Richardson for Kurt Thomas was so obviously stupid (for both teams), but that's in the past... and then there's the question of Jalen Rose, who is now getting all sorts of minutes... a bad idea for any team. By the way, somehow Larry Brown has managed to find time to play Qyntel Woods, which demonstrates the fact that Larry may somehow be picking the players on the court out of a hat. Hey, if you can get pit bulls to fight, you can play in the NBA. Did I mention that all of these guys play the same position?

But that's the Knicks for you; in many ways, their short-sighted nature is refreshing for an NBA consisting of teams who clearly have no defined path for becoming good. Quickly, I'll list those teams, along with a quick description of their flaws...

Atlanta: I haven't given up on Marvin Williams yet, and signing Joe Johnson was smart. Unfortunately, I can't say that either Josh Smith or Josh Childress are where it's at. Their constant indecision about Al Harrington is frightening, and I actually feel really sorry for the guy. He deserves somewhat better than being mentioned in every other trade; he's not that bad.

Boston: At some point, they'll have to decide whether they want to build around Paul Pierce or not. Delonte West might turn into a half-decent point guard, and Al Jefferson might turn into a half-decent power forward. And if the Celtics don't figure out what they want to do in the middle (or what they want to do with Pierce), they'll continue to suck. Gimmicks like trading for Wally Szczerbiak aren't going to make a bad team good.

Charlotte: At this point, I think they would have been better off drafting Ben Gordon. When Gerald Wallace is leading your team in scoring, you need to re-evaluate your building plan. I have little doubt that Felton will be good eventually, but that isn't enough for me. Get scoring next year, or lose your fans. Maybe two teams will fail out of Charlotte, that would be amazing.

Chicago: The fact that all of Chicago's young talent seems to be stagnant in their basketball development has to be disconcerting. Like so many other teams, the Bulls are indecisive about their core (except for Hinrich, Deng, and Gordon). Jermaine O'Neal is such an obvious fit, but whatever. Hey, you know who would be an amazing fit for the Bulls? Elton Brand... oh, wait.

Washington: Give the Wizards credit for tricking the Mavs out of Antawn Jamison, as well as the Lakers out of Caron Butler. That was first-rate. Also, give them credit for: not keeping Kwame, and building around Gilbert Arenas. I'm lumping the Wiz in here because they just don't seem to have any desire to stockpile a bench that's worth a crap.

Portland: What I don't understand is Portland's desire to stockpile point guards who may never be great; mainly because Telfair isn't as solid as Jack at this point, but Steve Blake is starting. At least Ruben Patterson and Darius Miles are still around; I was worried that Zach Randolph might kill them in cold blood (ok, I'm kidding here, but not as much as you may think.) By the way, the Blazers don't have any stars or a core; they're like the Bobcats.

Minnesota: You know the drill: they're screwing over Kevin Garnett. Maybe they'll have better luck with somebody who can't do it all for their team.

Houston: T-Mac is having personal issues, and everyone's taking it out on Yao. But the real problem here is the fact that Houston's guards aren't good enough to keep them in it. They've got to look at some free agents this summer; hopefully not making it to the playoffs will drill it into their skulls that T-Mac isn't their point guard (and that Rafer Alston isn't either.)

Toronto: Attention, Toronto. Chris Bosh is now a star. You will cave into his demands when he asks for a new contract. You will build your team around him, and you will re-sign Mike James if he wants you too. You succeeded at getting rid of Jalen Rose. Now you can go and find a new scoring guard, and you will win. Don't screw this up.

Seattle: Once teams figured out that Seattle can't play on the inside and that all they had to do was try to stop Allen and Lewis, the Sonics' high flying act was done. It's time for the gimmick to be scrapped, and it's necessary for them to start over again. How they choose to do it is their own business.

Orlando: They claim they want to build around Dwight Howard. I hope they do it quickly. The Magic aren't always known for their ability to make good trades. Did anybody else notice that Tony Battie has started every game for them this year? Very weird.

Golden State: I am close to giving up on this franchise forever. After trading for Baron Davis, all they had to do was trade for Ron Artest, and they were on their way to great things. But they balked when the moment got big; they let Sacramento, a division rival, grab Artest, the best defensive player on Earth, and now they will suffer in the West. The Warriors need toughness, both on the court and in the front office.

Utah: I love the Jazz, but I don't know what they're doing. Deron Williams looks sort of overmatched, and they need to learn that Gordon Giricek, Milt Palacios, and Keith McLeod aren't the tickets to stardom. Their backcourt issues need to be addressed, and it will be interesting to see what they do in the offseason.

Note that I didn't put Sacramento on this list, since they're on the way to figuring out what they need. I skipped the Lakers, who qualify, but are decision-contingent on Kobe, as well as the Sixers, who refuse to go away from the Iverson-or-bust strategy that has characterized the franchise. Hey, if you don't want to learn, that's your choice. I also skipped Denver because that team is on another plane of existence (more on this later...)

I'm out.

Good evening, friends.

I realize that over the past few weeks, the quality and quantity of my articles/posts/opinions on this blog has decreased substantially. I'm sorry about that. I've flat-out sucked at writing, and I really don't have time to write any better. However, today I was inspired to fix my blog, for various Lantern-related reasons.

First, I just have to say that Ohio State's student newspaper is probably the most horrible thing I have ever attempted to read on a casual, disjointed basis. I don't really pick up the Lantern intentionally, but when others do and leave it in class, I tend to flip through it.

Over the past week, individual journalists have suggested that Wal-Mart is trying to impose its values upon America by not selling the morning-after pill; they have surmised that the removal of tattoos via the "laser" is a remarkably new concept, and they have whined about intelligent design and evolution. For these reasons, I can't really tolerate the Lantern. Additionally, their sports journalists are frequently wrong, except for this one guy who made fun of the Vikings' sex parties. That guy was on point.

I have now decided to increase the quality of my posts, mainly by picking actual topics to write about, instead of just making previews of how something will go, which is a waste of everyone's time. I think that an increase in the quality will also be accompanied by an increase in my human capital, which is something that any good economist should be pretty jacked up about.

The contrite nature of this post aside, it's time to come up with something creative. Let's go with a safe bet: the complete disillusionment that everyone has with the Olympics.

I've racked my brain trying to figure out why I should care about the Olympics. I watched some of the opening ceremonies- and I had eagerly awaited Alberto Tomba ski-jumping over a group of Italians, brazenly throwing the Olympic torch into the cauldron without regard for his life, and cementing his place as the most awesome Winter Olympian ever. Unfortunately, the lighting of the flame was somewhere around terrible, leaving me to believe that I wouldn't be watching much of this Olympics either.

Nevertheless, I pressed onward, forcing myself to watch some of the luge, some ice dancing, some speed skating, and whatever else NBC decided I would like to watch. And then it hit me, like a glorious epiphany that occurs at most once in a lifetime. NBC is to blame for all of this.

Yes, NBC, the network that has managed to mess up every sport they've ever had except for the NBA, which they declined to retain, is the cause of all of our Olympic problems. For one thing, NBC owns the rights to Bob Costas's soul, which means that at any time Costas may be forced to give some sort of special interest piece on an athlete we've never heard of, nor care about. What's worse is that NBC has taken to building up American athletes who proceed to not win medals, something that is inexcusable when you're showing events on tape delay. This statement is true: NBC has decided not to show anything live, and we're all left to watch events we already know the results to. In short, we've killed the excitement behind the Olympics.

Does America have any stars? I guess, although we tend to run our stars into the ground. Michelle Kwan? Almost selfish for wanting one more chance at glory. Bode Miller? Disappointing drunk. Apolo Ohno? Needs to win more. Even the snowboarder who screwed up her final trick, costing her gold, is being thrown to the wolves, as if people were just biting their nails waiting to see who would win in women's snowboarding. Hey, at least she won silver.

I think there are some good stories at the Olympics. They just happen to reside in other countries. A 19-year Austrian won ski-jumping gold; Australia wants Brazil to get kicked out of the 4-man bobsled. But if Americans don't win gold, NBC doesn't care. We'll get special interest stories about our seventh-place finishers, and we'll go criticize Bode Miller some more. After all, that's what the Olympics are all about.

How we will remember Torino? We'll probably have Bob Costas remember it for us; for we won't have any basis for remembering it ourselves.

College Basketball is the trizz-uth.

I really like college basketball quite a bit more than college football, but I haven't actually managed to post anything about it in a long time, mainly due to midterms that I have significantly failed. Columbus is unkind to my self-esteem; really, my mental health could be added into that category as well.

So I thought I would deftly avoid commenting on Louisville's losses to Rutgers and St. John's, mainly because it hurts me. I won't even comment on Kentucky's recent demise, although if the 'Cats don't make the tournament, it's possible that Tubby Smith might be assassinated. Don't laugh, it could really happen.

What disturbs me the most about the Tubby Smith scenario is the fact that it's almost a carbon copy of the Mike Davis scenario up in Indiana, or even the Ty Willingham debacle at Notre Dame. The three coaches have surprisingly similar situations; Davis and Smith both took teams to the NCAA Championship final, but have had less success since, leading fans to call for their heads. Similarly, Ty Willingham was unneccesarily released from Notre Dame, mainly for starting out too well and then failing to meet expectations. I'm literally counting down the days until Tony Dungy starts to hear it from Colts fans.

What's the bottom line? You're allowed to be above average- if you're white.

My little rant aside, I think we're actually seeing a year where there aren't too many legitimate title contenders.

Here are my top 10 contenders, in order:

UConn: They have Rudy Gay, who vaguely reminds me of Carmelo Anthony crossed with Luol Deng. They also have a suitably arrogant point guard, which is a must. But the reasons why UConn has the best chance begin and end with Josh Boone and Hilton Armstrong, who form the most powerful frontcourt tandem in the country.

Duke: I'm going on record as saying that J.J. Redick can lead a team to the Final Four by himself. But this year Duke has Josh McRoberts, who actually takes a lot of pressure off of the rest of the roster. I would almost punch these guys into the Final Four if they didn't have such a small bench.

Memphis: This team is really strange. They don't seem to have anything definable that catalyzes them, but they're so athletic that it doesn't really matter. You have to give some credit to John Calipari, who, recognizing that his team didn't have a chance at the tournament without a killer out-of-conference schedule, found time to schedule Duke, Cincinnati, Texas, Alabama, UCLA, Tennessee, and Gonzaga.

Villanova: This is your quintessential undersized, heart-on-your-sleeve, guard-dominated team that often makes it far into the tourney but rarely wins. In some sense, they're a lot like St. Joe's with West and Nelson, or maybe even Illinois last year. How teams like 'Nova do is completely arbitrary after the Sweet 16. I don't really think there's any need for analysis past this point.

Texas: We would all give the Longhorns more credit if they didn't get blown out when they lost. Still, two of their three losses came without Brad Buckman (in the Duke game, he played seven minutes). You have to give Texas at least some credit for beating both 'Nova and Memphis as well. For them to win, Daniel Gibson will have to be awesome.

Gonzaga: This team is seriously flawed as a title contender, but they can score lots of points, and they have Adam Morrison. I also think that J.P. Batista is about the most underrated big man in the country.

West Virginia: What? No, this team could win, using the same logic as Gonzaga. Keep in mind, they won last year too, and Gansey and Pittsnogle have been fantastic.

Michigan State: This team really needs to play better. I can't believe I'm still endorsing them, but the Big Ten is a really tough conference to be in right now.

Tennessee: Give this team credit. They've won a lot of games against good teams. That doesn't necessarily make them title contenders, but it makes them dangerous.

Pitt: They play so differently and they're due to make a deep run. Has anybody noticed that Jamie Dixon and Ben Howland are amazing coaches?