NFL Playoffs, whatever.
I guess I owe everyone some sort of NFL-themed post, since the season's almost over and I've deftly avoided talking about it "aristocrat-style." I'm about to puff out my robe in glorious style, but before I declare my divine right over everyone else, I'll briefly cover all the important NFL topics in glorious "Q and A format."
John in Kentucky (along with Nate in Ohio) asks... "Are the Bengals for real?"
The answer, of course, is who cares. Wait, never mind, that's not very aristocratic of me. Nor is it very nice. After all, the Bengals kind of almost make me like the NFL; it's a nice feel good story. Yes, the Bengals are for real. They have managed to build a very powerful offense, which means they're "good at something," which makes them better than maybe 24 other teams automatically. I've heard rumors that Marvin Lewis is a defensive guy, which gives them sort of that Colts vibe that's been trendy lately.
You should note that I've accomplished all of this analysis without providing any "facts," which puts me on the fast track to being a stud sportswriter. So I'll throw in this one, mainly because I think it's neat.
QB Ratings for first two NFL seasons:
Year 1:
Manning, Peyton 71.2
Palmer, Carson 77.3
Year 2:
Manning, Peyton 90.7
Palmer, Carson (through 13 games) 103.2
Geez, maybe the Bengals are getting better at drafting or something.
Grant in Kentucky asks: Will Terrell Owens be back with a bang?
Yes. But he needs to visit his grandmother, who should set him straight. I'm sort of curious to see what would happen if he was put on a team with a good quarterback. He'll always whine about it being the QB's fault if the QB isn't the truth. But no good QB will ever take him... oh, it's a vicious cycle.
Pete in Ohio asks: Will the Browns win again this season?
Certainly. They have Baltimore at home and Oakland on the road. They've also managed not to get blown out too terribly this year, which means they compete well in the games they do play in. Oakland tanked the Jets game something fierce last week, and Randy Moss has officially mailed it in for the year.
Rob in Louisiana asks: When is LSU firing Les Miles?
Wrong post, Rob. No, I think that if LSU ever wins fewer than 8 games in a season, Miles is gone.
Jason in Kentucky asks: Which team is going to draft Reggie Bush? I need to know what uniform he'll be in for certain "personal reasons."
It looks like the Texans are the team of choice, though they already have a moderately competent running back in Domanick Davis. The real question is whether or not they plan on getting an offensive line to protect David Carr, because I think if they don't, he might have some sort of Thiesmann-like injury, and then we'll have to hear him in the booth for the rest of our lives. On a positive note, the Texans have hired special consultant Dan Reeves, which means that very soon David Carr will be getting into feuds about making the offense more simple, because it's obvious that the Texans have opened up the playbook way too much. (sarcasm alert!)
Justin in Kentucky asks: Are the Colts gonna run the table?
It's about a coin flip. The biggest test is next week, mainly because the Chargers can score a lot of points and should be pretty desperate to win. People seem to forget that the Seahawks won't have a whole lot to play for when the Colts meet them up in Seattle, and will be hesitant to get Hasselback or Alexander hurt.
I think the Chargers have enough offense to hang with the Colts, and their defense might hold up ok too. The coaching might be a bit of a disaster though. Picking against Indy at home isn't a very good idea, so I'll go:
Colts 38, Chargers 34.
Colts 27, Seahawks 13.
Colts 49, Cardinals 10.
Suzanne in Indiana asks: Who will be in the Super Bowl? I'm tired of reading about all this stuff I don't care about.
Suzanne, I couldn't agree more. Let's take the Colts in the AFC (though the Patriots will really test them when they play, as will the Bengals.) Let's not kid ourselves, the Patriots are still the team to beat in the AFC, no matter how much we all want to see them lose. They did win the past few Super Bowls. I'll go ahead and take the Giants from the NFC, based purely on intuition. Actually, they seem to be the best team there, mainly because they're balanced. But don't think for a minute that I won't change my mind whenever I want. After all, it's my right.
John in Kentucky (along with Nate in Ohio) asks... "Are the Bengals for real?"
The answer, of course, is who cares. Wait, never mind, that's not very aristocratic of me. Nor is it very nice. After all, the Bengals kind of almost make me like the NFL; it's a nice feel good story. Yes, the Bengals are for real. They have managed to build a very powerful offense, which means they're "good at something," which makes them better than maybe 24 other teams automatically. I've heard rumors that Marvin Lewis is a defensive guy, which gives them sort of that Colts vibe that's been trendy lately.
You should note that I've accomplished all of this analysis without providing any "facts," which puts me on the fast track to being a stud sportswriter. So I'll throw in this one, mainly because I think it's neat.
QB Ratings for first two NFL seasons:
Year 1:
Manning, Peyton 71.2
Palmer, Carson 77.3
Year 2:
Manning, Peyton 90.7
Palmer, Carson (through 13 games) 103.2
Geez, maybe the Bengals are getting better at drafting or something.
Grant in Kentucky asks: Will Terrell Owens be back with a bang?
Yes. But he needs to visit his grandmother, who should set him straight. I'm sort of curious to see what would happen if he was put on a team with a good quarterback. He'll always whine about it being the QB's fault if the QB isn't the truth. But no good QB will ever take him... oh, it's a vicious cycle.
Pete in Ohio asks: Will the Browns win again this season?
Certainly. They have Baltimore at home and Oakland on the road. They've also managed not to get blown out too terribly this year, which means they compete well in the games they do play in. Oakland tanked the Jets game something fierce last week, and Randy Moss has officially mailed it in for the year.
Rob in Louisiana asks: When is LSU firing Les Miles?
Wrong post, Rob. No, I think that if LSU ever wins fewer than 8 games in a season, Miles is gone.
Jason in Kentucky asks: Which team is going to draft Reggie Bush? I need to know what uniform he'll be in for certain "personal reasons."
It looks like the Texans are the team of choice, though they already have a moderately competent running back in Domanick Davis. The real question is whether or not they plan on getting an offensive line to protect David Carr, because I think if they don't, he might have some sort of Thiesmann-like injury, and then we'll have to hear him in the booth for the rest of our lives. On a positive note, the Texans have hired special consultant Dan Reeves, which means that very soon David Carr will be getting into feuds about making the offense more simple, because it's obvious that the Texans have opened up the playbook way too much. (sarcasm alert!)
Justin in Kentucky asks: Are the Colts gonna run the table?
It's about a coin flip. The biggest test is next week, mainly because the Chargers can score a lot of points and should be pretty desperate to win. People seem to forget that the Seahawks won't have a whole lot to play for when the Colts meet them up in Seattle, and will be hesitant to get Hasselback or Alexander hurt.
I think the Chargers have enough offense to hang with the Colts, and their defense might hold up ok too. The coaching might be a bit of a disaster though. Picking against Indy at home isn't a very good idea, so I'll go:
Colts 38, Chargers 34.
Colts 27, Seahawks 13.
Colts 49, Cardinals 10.
Suzanne in Indiana asks: Who will be in the Super Bowl? I'm tired of reading about all this stuff I don't care about.
Suzanne, I couldn't agree more. Let's take the Colts in the AFC (though the Patriots will really test them when they play, as will the Bengals.) Let's not kid ourselves, the Patriots are still the team to beat in the AFC, no matter how much we all want to see them lose. They did win the past few Super Bowls. I'll go ahead and take the Giants from the NFC, based purely on intuition. Actually, they seem to be the best team there, mainly because they're balanced. But don't think for a minute that I won't change my mind whenever I want. After all, it's my right.
posted by mike at 1:46 PM
3 Comments:
I am glad to see the Manning off in the superbowl that I inquired about. Which Manning do you pick?
Suzanne in Indiana
Suzanne,
I've got to go with Peyton. Colts 31, Giants 20.
Mike
Who's "slurping up the Colts?" It's not me, I can assure you. I'm pretty notorious for being "all over Peyton Manning's a**" for choking in the playoffs, so I'm going to continue my hardline stance against Peyton until proven otherwise.
I'm actually going to buy your "Tom Brady is the best NFL quarterback" argument for now, mainly because I don't care about football anymore. I suppose his three Super Bowls count for something, and his receivers aren't really any good, but he doesn't throw a bunch of picks because of that. I suppose that makes him good.
Do we really have to talk about matching up Super Bowl teams from different eras? I'll take the 1995 49ers against anyone if that's the case. Primetime, Stevie Y., Jerry Rice, Ricky "running" Watters, Chuck Haley... man, that team was the truth.
Would last year's Pats beat this year's Colts? Yeah, but who cares. I'll even take the Pats by double digits if that helps. I just don't care. There will be more on this later.
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