Don't do it, Andruw!
To: Andruw Jones
From: Mike
Re: Your Home Runs
Cc: Miguel Cabrera
Andruw,
I love what you've done with your swing. I love the fact that you've finally figured out how to hit for power all the time, and not just arbitrarily when you want to. I like the fact that you're a legit MVP candidate on a team full of rookies. That really means a lot to me.
I want to believe that you're the best center fielder since Willie Mays, though I'm still partial to Junior. I'm glad to see you putting a new stamp on your career by being consistent for a full season. I'm excited to see that spring training really does matter; that your home runs in the Grapefruit League translated to the regular season. You're the story of baseball this year; you've become a true superstar. We can put you and Vladdy in the same sentence again.
And now I'm asking you to stop.
Andruw, stop hitting all these home runs. You've made your point. The Braves are going to win the NL East for the four trillionth time in a row, and it's all because of you. I'll give you my "Sports Talk" player of the month, or anything else you may want. Just stop hitting these homers.
See, Andruw, you're messing with history. You're what's keeping a guy by the name of Albert Pujols from winning the Triple Crown. And we haven't seen that done since Yaz. There are millions of fans who need to see this done this year, to put a stamp on baseball that doesn't involve a syringe.
Andruw, I can truly believe that Pujols will track down Carlos Lee in RBIs. I also believe that he will figure out some way to track down his Florida clone, Miguel Cabrera, though it may be tough. (I e-mailed Miguel tonight, telling him to stop hitting quite so well... with those starters, the Fish really only need a run a game). I even believe that Morgan Ensberg and Adam Dunn will wear themselves out, like Derrek Lee.
But I look at you and I see greatness, and I know that you're for real. I know that you're liable to hit 50 this year, and that will probably be too many. So I need your help. For the good of the game, Andruw, please stop hitting all these home runs.
Yours truly,
Michael
From: Mike
Re: Your Home Runs
Cc: Miguel Cabrera
Andruw,
I love what you've done with your swing. I love the fact that you've finally figured out how to hit for power all the time, and not just arbitrarily when you want to. I like the fact that you're a legit MVP candidate on a team full of rookies. That really means a lot to me.
I want to believe that you're the best center fielder since Willie Mays, though I'm still partial to Junior. I'm glad to see you putting a new stamp on your career by being consistent for a full season. I'm excited to see that spring training really does matter; that your home runs in the Grapefruit League translated to the regular season. You're the story of baseball this year; you've become a true superstar. We can put you and Vladdy in the same sentence again.
And now I'm asking you to stop.
Andruw, stop hitting all these home runs. You've made your point. The Braves are going to win the NL East for the four trillionth time in a row, and it's all because of you. I'll give you my "Sports Talk" player of the month, or anything else you may want. Just stop hitting these homers.
See, Andruw, you're messing with history. You're what's keeping a guy by the name of Albert Pujols from winning the Triple Crown. And we haven't seen that done since Yaz. There are millions of fans who need to see this done this year, to put a stamp on baseball that doesn't involve a syringe.
Andruw, I can truly believe that Pujols will track down Carlos Lee in RBIs. I also believe that he will figure out some way to track down his Florida clone, Miguel Cabrera, though it may be tough. (I e-mailed Miguel tonight, telling him to stop hitting quite so well... with those starters, the Fish really only need a run a game). I even believe that Morgan Ensberg and Adam Dunn will wear themselves out, like Derrek Lee.
But I look at you and I see greatness, and I know that you're for real. I know that you're liable to hit 50 this year, and that will probably be too many. So I need your help. For the good of the game, Andruw, please stop hitting all these home runs.
Yours truly,
Michael
posted by mike at 8:10 PM
1 Comments:
Derrek Lee is making me eat my words... sort of.
He would probably be the MVP, except if you look at the test case of McCarver, you would see that Pujols is very similar to Cepeda and Lee is similar to Clemente/Aaron... better hitters, but on bad teams.
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