I've resigned to letting someone who "knows about football" have the privilege of "writing about it."

And now to football…

I don’t really want to resort to a head to head comparison of each part of the two teams. I’m not sure it would actually in trying to analyze what will happen. Second, everyone and their mother writes a Super Bowl preview like that. So I’m just going to ramble for a bit about both teams.

I’ll start with the Seahawks. Fellow Northern Kentuckian Shaun Alexander, a.k.a. “The Truth”, plays for the Hawks, so I’m immediately predisposed to them. They have definitely had an easier road than the Steelers, but since you get two weeks off before the Super Bowl, the difficulty and strenuousness of the previous games rarely plays a factor. Games with more than one week of preparation usually have as much to do with coaching as the talent level of the teams. The coaches have two weeks to figure out what is coming at them, and devise a plan accordingly. To that end, I will say that the hallmark of Seattle’s more dominant wins (Philly, Carolina, etc.) is taking a one-dimensional team, having the audacity to recognize that they have basically one player stop on defense, and proceeding to develop a plan to stop that player. If quadruple teaming Steve Smith is what it takes, that’s what Mike Holmgren will do – and it usually only takes him a week to figure that out. Give him two… you’re in real trouble. Unfortunately, Pittsburgh is a decidedly multi-dimensional on offense. Score one for them.

Back when people were discussing the chances of Pittsburgh even making the playoffs, they got trounced by the Colts. Around this point, Pittsburgh’s offensive coordinator, Ken Whisenhunt, realized that to beat the Colts his team was going to have to be able to score about 30 a game (a fallacy disproved by Shawn Merriman and the Chargers, but whatever…). Having the audacity to realize that the running game wasn’t what it was last year (Whatever happened to Duce Staley?), which wasn’t good enough to win last year anyway, he opened up the offense. Wunderkind Ben Roethlisberger responded by putting up the best numbers of his short career, which still includes only 3 losses. Expect 25-30 passes from Roethlisberger during the Super Bowl.

I think the defenses will be the most intriguing part of the game. Both are led by exciting young guys from USC. Troy Polamalu is fun to watch, as is Defensive Rookie of the Year runner-up Lofa Tatupu. Earlier in the year, I would have said that Pittsburgh’s offensive is exactly the kind of one-dimensional unit that Seattle would have a field day with – but they opened it up. Roethlisberger is the key to Pittsburgh’s offense during this run, and Seattle leads the NFL in sacks. Score one for them. Also, Pittsburgh’s defensive strength is in stopping the run… but ain’t no offensive line like the Seahawks. Shaun Alexander will get his yards and TD’s. Score two or three for him. Also, Hasselback will be able to complete some passes. Score one for him. Holmgren has won a Super Bowl already. I’d say score one for him, but that was 9 years ago. Cowher’s trip was 10. Neither team can really play the “been there, done that” card. Pittsburgh is much closer to Detroit – they are even fairly similar towns in their blue-collar mentality. Seattle is losing their greatest asset and likely the reason they are even in the Super Bowl in not having home-field advantage. Score one for Pittsburgh. They’ve even got that whole win one for “the Bus” thing going.

Finally, some people are saying that Shaun Alexander may have been the best, but not the most valuable player. Well consider this – if Pittsburgh could trade any player on their team straight up for the corresponding position on Seattle, who do you think they’d take? Seattle makes the playoffs without Shaun Alexander. They may even make it to the Super Bowl. They are an all around solid team. Would they have done it without Hasselback... well, it depends on who his replacement is? There is no replacement for Shaun Alexander. He tips the scales. And in lieu of any other legitimate reason to favor one team over the other besides pulling for the hometown hero, I’m calling a Seahawks championship, 28-24. East cost bias, begone.

Aussie Open...

So here I am, 1 week before the Super Bowl trying to make sense of a world gone mad. Mostly I’m awaiting the tape delay re-airing of the Baghdatis/Federer Australian Open later today. I’m glad I wasn’t asked to do an Australian Open preview because I would have totally bombed that one. Amelie Mauresmo finally won her slam – and all it took was to win the semifinals and finals by her opponents retiring. Before I get on to the football, I have two tennis related things to say:

1) People were taking pot shots at Henin-Hardenne for retiring in the finals saying it was a cheap move designed to take glory away from Mauresmo, as if that hadn’t already happened. Everyone knows that a healthy Henin-Hardenne wins more than one game against Mauresmo. I don’t know if Justine has ever lost a match at 1 and 0. Also, the woman lost a year of tennis due to illness. Lay off Justine. She’s better than Mauresmo, she’s better than you (Mary Carillo), and she deserves better than to functionally serve as Mauresmo’s target practice just to maintain the “integrity and competitive spirit” of the sport. Please.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I just want to say that I completely agree with John here; Justine lost out on the first place winnings of the Australian Open as well as the glory; I'm pretty sure that if Justine could have gone at all, she would have.

2) You’ve got to root for Federer until he loses in a grand slam, right? The man with the first legitimate shot to win the grand slam in 40 years has to have our support, right? What if he runs the table and goes undefeated this year? It might seem like I’m resorting to ridiculous hyperbole here to make a point, but I’m dead serious. (He’ll probably lose on clay once he has to contend with Nadal, but
still…) Granted, the Australian Open field is sans Nadal, Agassi, and Safin, and Hewitt and Roddick are playing less than inspired tennis, but you can’t fault a guy for staying healthy. *UPDATE – Baghdatis just won the 1st set. This could be a match actually.

Editor's Note: Almost...

I can't believe I'm doing this, but I'll dive into a brief non-sports post...

Hi.

Many of you (well, at most, like six or seven of you) may be wondering why you haven't heard from me in January. It isn't as if I don't like talking to you and complaining about how horrible Columbus is, but quite frankly, I just haven't had the time to do it. I spend about seven or eight hours a day in this place called Arps Hall and am also in classes for four other hours. In fact, Rachel got to spend some time in the Arps when she came up. It's remarkable that I'm not single at this moment... also, my New Year's resolutions are already starting to fade, and I am in the midst of a ten-day stretch of seven homework assignments and four midterms, determining roughly 50% of my grade in each class. In short, I'm trying not to fail out of here, though it may be out of my hands.

But rest assured, all of this was just a lead-in to what I wanted to post here. Apparently, Rachel, Asbury College's VP of Sigma Zeta, a science organization, is required to call Asbury alumni and beg for money. Among the sparkling individuals that she got to call was the former reverend Billy Riggs, who is now the world's first and only "dis-illusionist." I can't imagine what it must have been like to speak to this individual, but it must have been one of the greatest experiences of her life. We must say former reverend, because Mr. Riggs has left the church to pursue a career in motivational magic. I want to make some sort of Swayze-themed Donnie Darko reference, but I won't. Wait, maybe I already did...

I believe that now Rachel and I are even, since I have met a prophet and she has met a "dis-illusionist." Stay tuned for the next installment of the "Rachel and Michael meet interesting individuals" portion of my blog... until then, wait for the Australian Open recap and Super Bowl preview, courtesy of John.

Reds baseball...

I read an editorial today by the Lantern, OSU's daily paper, about the Reds. I didn't think it was very good, mainly because of this one sentence that was written describing the Reds' new search for a GM, but also because of the author's new-found optimism for an owner who hasn't made any transactions yet except for firing Jim O'Brien, something that should have been done awhile ago.

Three ideas in this article really made me think, so here they are.

Idea 1: "While Schott did care about winning and lost money to put divisional champions on the field with the last available talent in 1994 and 1995, Lindner was an owner that just bought the team to keep it in local hands and didn't want to lose money."

True. Lindner had no idea how to run a franchise, I'll give you that. But Lindner did have some idea of how to treat fans, and genuinely (I think, anyway) cared about Reds fans. That might explain why he gave away so many Reds tickets. Reds ticket prices are even affordable, though perhaps not Pareto-optimal.

Idea 2: "Castellini told reporters at a Friday press conference that he plans on keeping the payroll between $60-65 million and doesn't want to lose money. The key is spending money wisely - not over investing in offense, not under investing in pitching to hold leads."

Wait, this owner doesn't want to lose money either? Doesn't that sort of contradict one of your main beefs with Lindner? That's some glaring inconsistency with your essay. Additionally, I don't think that the Reds have ever "over-invested" in offense. As far as I know, Sean Casey, Adam Dunn, Wily Mo, Austin Kearns, Edwin Encarnacion, Felipe Lopez, Rich Aurilia, and those other guys came pretty reasonably, seeing as they were young and couldn't get contracts of market value. Casey was expensive, but I'm finally convinced that he's good enough to get the money he was paid, so I'm cool with that. In fact, other than the Barry Larkin mistake, the Reds have been rather stingy on the offense.

Now, what about Griffey? He was hurt, and at the time, it was a phenomenal move. Two of his six years have been quite dynamic, and he's the face of the franchise. Like it or not, he's a Red for life.

Idea 3: "The new general manager needs to be someone who has proven that a farm system can be rebuilt, but at the same time is creative enough to make moves at the big league level to at least put a contending team on the field."

I'm not sure what this sentence is trying to say. We need a guy good at rebuilding farm systems, and we need a guy who puts a contender on the field every year? In short, we want Billy Beane, Mark Shapiro, or John Schuerholz. Doesn't every team need one of those guys? It's sort of like saying we need Mark Prior or David Wright. Of course that's a true statement, but it's hardly a specific, valid comment.

Look, I don't want it to look like I'm ripping the dude from the Lantern because I really think it's difficult to write articles in this day and age that don't deteriorate into slang and opinions. After all, that's half my blog, and half this article. But I can differentiate between facts and unsubstantiated opinions when it comes to sports, and I'll point them out when I feel like it.

Oh, this is rich.

So, sometimes you just find gems on the internet, too juicy not to talk about.

I found this gem on Anna Benson, the ridiculous wife of Kris Benson, a guy who was recently traded to the Orioles by the New York Mets. What makes this hilarious is that the Mets have never been known for their morals, making the fact that they gave up on Kris because of Anna even more hilarious. Bobby Valentine? Ok-ish... Anna Benson? Too much. Heck, they even had Rickey Henderson and Bobby Bonilla on the same team at the same time. So you know she had pushed their buttons something fierce.

From the New York Post, Anna on the Mets' acquisition, Carlos Delgado:

"She has criticized the Mets for acquiring Carlos Delgado, who has not stood for the playing of "God Bless America" during games because of his opposition to American foreign policy. Clarifying those remarks last night, she said that she wondered why the Mets were willing to acquire Delgado but then were leery when she considered modeling for Playboy.

"Be liberal or not, make a choice," Anna said, adding that her posing for Playboy was a dead issue."

I think this quote proves why Anna is the classic example of reasons why you should marry someone based on other factors than straight-up "hotness." Kris must rue the day, in some sense. We won't even get into the rationale behind it; no, it speaks for itself.

Apparently Kris didn't think the trade was "cut and dry." He's quite right: there's no team on Earth that would take Jorge Julio and John Maine for someone of Kris's caliber. Neither of those guys are huge prospects, although Maine is decent. I think the Mets basically called around, were very honest with the other teams about Anna, and prayed that someone would be desperate enough to take the Bensons. Enter Baltimore, a team that a) needs Kris Benson in a terrible way, and b) is always a sucker for the live ones. After all, they have Sammy, Raffy, and have had Albert Belle and Bobby Bo. They've got some experience with this. Peter Angelos must have been confused when signing Miguel Tejada; he actually found himself a character guy.

Speaking of Tejada, he's got to be happy on two accounts- one, the fact that Benson is the instant ace of the staff; and two- Anna's in town, which means she could go on some sort of bizarre, inappropriate rampage (hey, she threatened to in New York.)

In other news, the Red Sox have apparently traded Andy Marte for Coco Crisp, which makes sense on some level. It's an exactly even type of deal- Crisp is going to be solid, but Marte could be spectacular. The Indians, who have made a living off of taking prospects who are far along in their development and patiently waiting through their adjustment period, live for teams to get impatient and drop the Cliff Lees, Grady Sizemores, Travis Hafners, and Ben Broussards of this world into their laps. Some people don't learn- but this trade seems different because Crisp is on the upswing in his career and Marte should have broken through last year, but didn't. Oh, it's an interesting saga.

I watched a double-overtime basketball game today.

Well, I got to see Ohio State lose a poorly-played double overtime game today, and I must just be bad luck, because Louisville also lost today. I don't even know how much of a Top 25 team Louisville is without Taquan Dean at 100%, but it seemed like they hung in there against Pitt. I wouldn't know, since I didn't get to see the game, but that's just my intuition. By the way, when a potential economist says "intuition," that means "they don't know and are making stuff up."

Now, on to Ohio State/Michigan State, or as I'll dub it, "Why not to live by the three."

Michigan State and Ohio State combined to shoot a hideous 9-39 from three, and OSU missed 20 threes. When Ohio State decided that running their offense was a good idea, they were mildly effective. Michigan State couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, and Maurice Ager had one of the worst games I've seen in recent memory. If you're a right-handed shooter, dribbling to your left and pulling up for the J isn't a good idea unless you're Kobe or T-Mac, which Ager is not. Tom Izzo was constantly taking him out of the game, probably reminding him that East Lansing is a long walk from Columbus. Still, there were positives for both teams; among which included...

Team defense. Both teams are solid at the defensive end, which led to lots of difficult shots for both teams.

Inside presence.
Terrence Dials is a force; so is Paul Davis, who I consider to be the most underrated player in college basketball. Davis can't really shoot too well from 16-18 feet yet, but from 10 feet in, he's really the best, in my opinion. He's fundamentally sound, which means he makes most of his high-percentage shots. This is really an underrated ability- not blowing layups, drop-step post moves, and putbacks can make a huge difference over the course of the game, and makes you more attractive to stick in the NBA. Additionally, Davis has an effective short-range jumper, which makes him to difficult for a college player to guard. In some sense, he's another Michael Doleac, but his game is really different and he seems more mobile. Plus, he outplayed Sheldon Williams last year in the Dance- does anybody remember this? He can flat-out play defense.

Yeah, I'll give Dials some cred too. He has a nice little left-handed hook shot, and he knows how to rebound. Thad Motta didn't substitute nearly as well as Tom Izzo did; Izzo stole time for Davis during stretches in both the first and second half, while Motta just left Dials in. Consequently, in the second half, Dials spent a lot of time jogging in from the backcourt, because he was too tired to run full strength, and OSU got to play a little too much 4-on-5. But that's Thad's fault, I think. Dials played 48 of 50 minutes.

So, now the big question is, why didn't I talk about the Big 10 earlier?

Well, I think the conference tied for second-best in the country. The ACC still has Duke (as well as UNC, N.C. State, Maryland, Boston College, Miami, and Wake...) and I just think it's tougher to win consistently in the ACC since there are fewer really bad teams- see Northwestern, Purdue, and Penn State.

But they'll push six teams into the dance comfortably this year. Michigan State is in; so are Wisconsin, Illinois, and Indiana. Ohio State did enough out-of-conference, as did Iowa. While you can't make that statement about the ACC, you can argue that there are fewer "gimmies" in the ACC, which is my deciding factor for conference strength. As we see the Big 10 shake itself out, we'll know a little bit more about the talent of these teams.

Why isn't the Big 10 number one? They don't have "UConn," and "Villanova." Why aren't they a solid number two? They don't have "Duke," making them a tie for number two. None of the Big 10 teams (except Michigan State) strike me as title contenders, and I also think that has something to do with how great your conference is.

I have to talk some more about college basketball, namely those great non-conference games that nobody seems to care about. The fact that the Dance exists in the format of one-and-done makes people think that somehow the regular college basketball season doesn't make a lot of difference, and people just ignore big, big matchups.

Well, in order to get to the end of the Dance, you've got to play big regular season non-conference games. It's the whole "learning-by-doing" thing.

Don't believe me? Well, last year UNC beat both Kentucky and UConn, while Illinois beat Wake Forest. The year before, UConn played eventual runner-up Georgia Tech and North Carolina out of conference. Before that? Syracuse took on NCAA teams Memphis, Missouri, and Elite 8 team Michigan State. Get the idea? You don't win if you don't play tough out-of-conference games, and people ignore them every year. So look at Memphis, Texas, Duke, Villanova, UConn, Michigan State, Gonzaga, and others if you want to see who will win it all. Those teams played monster out-of-conference schedules. Not surprisingly, those teams are the ones ranked highest. There's no correlation there... It's time for me to get some sleep, though.

Random Thoughts... part 2

So I've just got some random sports-related thoughts to fill out the week, but if you want to read this week's sign of the apocalypse, you can read this piece of trash submitted on Beckett.com, which I found to be incredibly trite and unfunny. This makes me wonder why people even bother to go to college.

Right before the AFC game, I had this thought- the thought that way too many people were picking the Patriots to win, and that maybe Denver would have something to say about that. Fortunately, my local expert is two-for-two, and we're on our way. Way not to be swayed by your peers, John.

I've got a lot to say about the very underrated college basketball season, which has seen a rather unprecedented amount of top 10 teams beating up each other before the year.

First, we might have to take another look at Texas- the Longhorns have now managed to beat Memphis and Villanova, and I really think they've got a shot to run the table in a very weak Big 12.

How weak is the Big 12? Here's a thought: Kansas State won at Kansas... Baylor hasn't played yet... Oklahoma State lost to Northwestern State, and Oklahoma, who was supposed to challenge Texas, has lost pretty much every meaningful game they've played this year. Also, somebody needs to tell Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas State, and Texas A & M that playing non-conference games that are meaningful is a nice idea.

You know, maybe the Big 12 can compete with the SEC, which has been wildly disappointing... Kentucky has been terrible, so has Alabama, and hey, Mississippi, who has lost to teams like Illinois-Chicago this year, is also leading the SEC West. I kind of think Florida is overrated, but they may not lose more than a game or so... whatever.

So that brings me to my new favorite topic: the strength of the Big East, the best basketball conference on planet Earth. It has all the necessary elements- four teams that will make the Dance, and will contend for the title: UConn, Villanova, West Virginia, and Syracuse; four teams that are unproven but talented: Louisville, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh, and Marquette; and four teams that would make the dance if they were in another conference: Notre Dame, Rutgers, Georgetown, and DePaul. Ridiculous. Keep in mind, all 12 of the teams have an impressive non-conference victory- even Louisville beat Miami on the road, and that looks a lot better now than it did.

I like the ACC too, and maybe we should credit Duke for being relatively untouchable. They always seem to drop a few in February though, so watch for that.

My half-season All-Americans:

G: J.J. Redick, Randy Foye
F: Adam Morrison, Paul Davis
C: Sheldon Williams

My #1's: Texas, Memphis, Duke, UConn
My #2's: Gonzaga, Villanova, Indiana, Florida (needs to win 2 more games in the SEC)
My #3's: Michigan State, Illinois, Pittsburgh, West Virginia
My #4's: Louisville, UCLA, Washington, Wisconsin
My #5's: Syracuse, Ohio State, N.C. State, Arizona
(just missed: UNC (too young, and they'll lose more games), Oklahoma (lost every meaningful game so far), GW (could move up), B. College (see Oklahoma).

I'm out.

Like drinking poison... like eating glass... like John Lorenz, and the AFC.

AFC Preview

Here I am, back with more great NFL nuggets… Let’s go AFC.

Indianapolis vs. Pittsburgh

As sad and unfortunate as it is, you have to wonder how the death of James Dungy has affected the Colts. Are they the same team? Obviously not – but that does not necessarily mean it has made them worse football-wise or that they will play poorly. Something intangible about the invincible aura of the Colts is gone – of course it really started with the loss to San Diego. Maybe they’ll get that back. As the Colts
showed previously, as well as the Bengals for one play Sunday, you can beat Pittsburgh over the top and open up the running game. So the Colts will score points. Also, the Colts front four can get pressure on Roethlisberger, which is something the Bengals couldn’t do which I see as being the key to this game – really any NFL game. The Bengals actually did okay against the run, but kept getting torched down the field. Not really the hallmark of a Pittsburgh win, but it’s not
something Indy will have to contend with, so they should be able to concentrate on the run and shut it down a la last time.
Pick: Indianapolis 34, Pittsburgh 21

Denver vs. New England

I’m biased here because if nothing else happens, I want Jake Plummer to bring back the mustache to show Adam Morrison what a real mustache looks like. Anyway, I’m just now starting to come around on Brady and Patriots… I know, it only took me three Super Bowls. I still don’t like them, but I’ll respect them. That being said, this is the hardest game to get a beat on. I’m going to have to do actual research. Hold on a second…

Passing Defense: Denver 29th , New England 31st (Oh Snap! There’s only 32 teams, dog!)

Rushing Defense: Denver 2nd , New England 8th (I guess we know what their strengths are…)

Scoring Defense: Denver: 2nd (How is that possible?), New England 17th

Defensive Edge: Denver

Offensive Edge: Even – Although, Denver is decidedly more balanced.

Alright, so here it is – if New England is stopping something, it’s the run. Which means it’s up to Jake Plummer to beat New England… yikes! But Shanahan has a way of being wildly successful running the ball against whoever he wants, but also of screwing up games like this. Here’s the X-Factor – takeaways: Denver +18, New England -4. If Denver is going to win, that’s the battle where it will be won. They need to make it easy on Jake the Snake. New England is hot and confident and something about Tedy Bruschi being an inspiration to starving children in Africa who
suffered strokes… but if Denver wins in turnovers, they’ll win the game. I say they do it and knock off the champs at Mile High Stadium. Wait… is it supposed to snow? Tuck rule… TUCK RULE!... Just checked… weather looks clear…
Pick: Denver 24, New England 21

Denver vs. Indianapolis

Can Denver knock off Indianapolis? If anyone can do it, it’s Denver who’s probably the most overlooked 13-3 team around. Denver’s super balanced attack is the perfect tonic to combat Indianapolis’ super aggressive defense which is bound to bite on a play action here or over-pursue there. I kind of don’t want to call this game until I get a better read on the Colts, but their team speed both offense and defense
counts for more on turf. It feels wrong to pull the home field advantage for both the NFC and AFC championship, but it’s valid especially when Jake Plummer is involved. I’m not forecasting a full out implosion. I hope he does well, and I’m kind of rooting for him because all this hype about how unstoppable Indianapolis is pretty much irritates the crap out of me. But in the interest of being objective, I don’t think Indianapolis can lose on turf. No one has really seen them play in a month, so we’ll see, but if this game had been played in November, Indianapolis by two touchdowns. It’s January now, so for whatever that’s worth…
Pick: Indianapolis 35, Denver 28

I have a guest columnist, and you don't. Watch while he delivers the future to you without a fee.

NFC Preview

Because the NFL is the sports league in the United States of
America, as a good American, you should care about the playoffs… er
something. Anyway, here’s some predictions and commentary for the NFC
games remaining. AFC and Super Bowl to come.

Seattle vs. Washington

Something about Seattle makes me nervous. They can’t possibly be as good as their record. Weak schedule? Yes. But Shaun Alexander – The Truth. Matt Hasselback is the 4th rated passer in the league. What makes that impressive is that his to receiver is Bobby Engram, who comes in at a whopping 35th in receiving yards, which is still an upgrade from last year. I think lack of talent at receiver helps Hasselback as it forces him to spread the ball around… that’s crap – if Santana Moss played for Seattle, they’re already in the Super Bowl, right? Instead, he plays for a team which managed 120 yards in a win. Things like that should not be allowed. Also, as hot as Washington is, their strength of schedule is nothing to crow about. They play in the NFC East– 2nd division toughest in the NFC (which makes it 3rd weakest in the NFL). This is a conference marked by wildly inconsistent teams. Seattle has a much better offense than Tampa. Really, Washington can’t win – Seattle
has to make mistakes and lose this game for Washington to advance. I don’t think it happens… as long as Hasselback doesn’t win the toss and proclaim victory before the opening kick.

Pick: Seattle 27, Washington 17

Carolina vs. Chicago

During the fourth quarter of Carolina/New York, Jason and I were bantering about whether a game could be won on a safety. We came to the conclusion and a blocked punt out of the back of the end zone to end the game is a feasible scenario. You think it’s crazy, but just watch the game this weekend. Has any other quarterback been rested for the playoffs after playing one and a half games? Which Carolina will show up? Does Jake Delhomme’s playoff experience count for anything? Can Carolina play in cold weather? Does it matter with the Bears defense? Will Rex Grossman suffer a career ending injury? Can Kyle Orton lead them to victory? Does it matter with Carolina’s defense? Is either team’s platoon of running backs better than the others? Carolina absolutely waxed New York and John Fox’s conservative style seems well suited to go against the Bears. I do think Jake Delhomme’s experience counts for something. (Although I’m secretly hoping for an Orton/Plummer Super Bowl because beards are awesome.)

Pick: Carolina 16, Bears 12

Alternate Pick: Bears 5, Carolina 3 (the game-winning safety scenario)

Carolina vs. Seattle

The thing I think most people don’t realize how tough a place Seattle is to play. Visiting teams hate it there. You have to travel the Pacific Northwest, your jet lagged, there’s an 800% chance of rain, and it’s so freakin’ loud. The crowd really plays a factor in Seattle home games. Fact: Seattle is 22-2 at home during the regular season over the last 3 years. (They are 1 game under .500 on the road over the same span.) Carolina is probably the best road team in football, but home field
means way more to Seattle than any other NFL team. They did lose a game there last year thanks to the old “All Hands” receiving core they had. Whether it’s Carolina or Chicago, Seattle has too much confidence and home field to deal with after getting by Washington.

Pick: Seattle 31, Carolina 20

*You know those “NBA 2K6, the Life” commercials where they had fictitious players who were awful and had to drop out of the league? You know the one where the point guard says, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”? Do you think they could make an NFL version, except instead of special effects, they could just piece together clips of Seahawks wide receivers from last year and get Koren Robinson to say, “You drop 100% of the passes Hasselback doesn’t throw to you.” Although, inexplicably, I’m talking about Pro Bowl return man Koren Robinson. There is no justice in this world.

Michael's NBA tri-mester awards!

We're a little over one-third of the way through the NBA season, so let's give out some of our honorary awards!

The "Oh snap, we should have really taken these guys out when we had the chance" award goes to:

The Phoenix Suns!

Phoenix is winning the Pacific Division of the West rather convincingly, despite no Amare. The Suns, instead, are making it on the "Quad Squad," that is, the resurgent Boris Diaw, the marginal Raja Bell, Eddie "shoot-at-will" House, and James "I got lost in Indiana's rotation" Jones. The innovative Suns have taken to playing Diaw at center, and are letting these other guys shoot and drive at will, because they don't have anybody else to do those things. Amazingly, that works well, and Steve Nash and Shawn Marion are more than enough to win most games anyway. Geez, maybe I'll have to take back my dislike for the Suns, who are deciding to arbitrarily win games "aristocrat-style." I envision a huge winning streak when Amare comes back.

The "You've got to be kidding me, why did we buy season tickets for this" award goes to:

The Houston Rockets!

I don't understand how this team got so bad so quick. I know T-Mac's been injured, but I just didn't know that Bob Sura was that much of a difference maker. You know things are bad when Luther Head, who was drafted to be a shooter only, is being told to look for his shot. He didn't even look for his shot at Illinois. Can Rafer Alston take down two teams at once? Maybe the Rockets should have kept Mike James after all. T-Mac, get it together, and score 40 a night, please.

The "we're playing with house money, every win after this is gold" award goes to:

The New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets!

Give the Hornets credit for drafting Chris Paul. But also give them credit for showing up to every game, and give them credit for letting David West develop into some sort of legitimate post threat. I can only think of one person who saw that coming. Despite J.R. Smith's atrocious shooting, which has been so bad that Byron Scott has decided to bench him, the Hornets are still playing hard, which is nice. Also, let's not get on them for getting "ripped off" with the Baron Davis deal. Speed Claxton hasn't been that bad, and the Hornets were dumping salary. When you dump salary, you don't get max value.

The least improved player award goes to:

Tyson Chandler!

In a close one over equally disappointing players J.R. Smith, Al Jefferson, Kwame Brown, Zach Randolph, Emeka Okafor, and even Q-Rich, I'm giving this award to Tyson Chandler, who is somehow averaging under 5 ppg. He's also leading his team in fouls, and he's also making a lot of money, which is just inexplicable. Tyson, you're making Charles Barkley look like a genius.

Barkley, in 2001, on high schoolers in the draft:
"When you draft a high school player, you're telling your fans and your organization, "We're going to struggle for the next two, three years; be patient with us." I don't think it's fair to the fans, and it's not good for basketball."

Tyson, it's been like five years, please, learn how to score and play like you're the number two overall pick. Even Kwame Brown is outplaying you.

The "please make it stop" award goes to:

Fans of the Charlotte Bobcats.

I think we need to invoke a rule that expansion teams must immediately pick up one of ten scorers to make their team competitive while they're in their transition periods. Teams would be allowed to choose from:

Jim Jackson, Jerry Stackhouse, Ricky Davis, Michael Finley, Jamal Crawford, Quentin Richardson, Steve Francis, Jalen Rose, and, well, I think we get the idea. This is because I hate (h-a-t-e) what the Bobcats are doing, which I think is mean to the fans. They've drafted three guys who can't score consistently in the NBA, which makes it extremely difficult to be consistent on a night-in, night-out basis. I'm sure the Bobcats' fans love seeing players like Keith Bogans, Jumaine Jones, Gerald Wallace, and Kareem Rush jack up shot after shot with no real pattern or explosiveness involved. Drafting pieces toward a good team is nice, but the Bobcats don't seem to really be building around anything. These fans deserve a good free agent signing next year.

By the way, I love how the Bobcats picked up Brevin Knight off the street, and that he's now their best player. That's the type of stuff that can only happen to expansion teams.

The All-Star team for the Eastern Conference is:

Guards: Chauncey Billups, Dwayne Wade, Allen Iverson, Michael Redd, Gilbert Arenas
Forwards: Paul Pierce, LeBron James, Vince Carter, Jermaine O'Neal, Ben Wallace
Centers: Shaquille O'Neal, Chris Bosh.

The All-Star team for the Western Conference is:

Guards: Steve Nash, Kobe Bryant, Jason Richardson, Tony Parker
Forwards: Kevin Garnett, Tim Duncan, Shawn Marion, Carmelo Anthony, Dirk Nowitzki, Elton Brand
Centers: Yao, Pau Gasol

The MVP is:

LeBron James.

Twenty wins + 30 ppg + 50% shooting percentage = MVP.

Random Rose Bowl thoughts, congealed for your pleasure.

America can rest at last, the Rose Bowl is over. And with that, the analysis of the biggest football game since last year can begin, and the numerous ridiculous analysts can come out of the woodwork and give their two cents on what went wrong.

But some of these analysts have opinions that are flat-out misguided, and it's my personal responsibility to mankind to disspell these foolhardy ideas.

The first idea that came out of those Rose Bowl analysts was the idea that somehow, because Reggie Bush wasn't getting 25-30 carries in the Rose Bowl, he wasn't an every-down back. Wait, what? Baby, association ain't hardly causation. Maybe the reason Reggie Bush wasn't getting the ball every down was because the Trojans have Lendale-frickin'-White in the backfield, and you can't hand the same ball to two players at once, no matter how hard you try. Unlike Nebraska, USC hardly runs the option, and so maybe Reggie is doing pretty good to get 20 touches in the game. Did Reggie have a bad game against Texas? Because I thought the stats said 13 carries for 82 yards (with the TD) along with 95 yards receiving. Now, he made that brain-dead play, but that won't happen too often at the next level.

Why wasn't Reggie Bush on the field for that last play? Who cares? It's not as if LenDale White isn't a first-round pick. Maybe we should throw LenDale under the bus too; he only gets like 17 carries a game, he's definitely not a 30-carry back. That's ridiculous to say... here's something smarter. If Reggie Bush was at a different school, his stats would be better, and we wouldn't be speculating (needlessly) that he's a glorified Ronnie Harmon. Give me a break.

In fact, the only analyst who came even remotely close to getting this right was one John Lorenz, who stated that, while we don't know what Reggie Bush is capable of, we do know that he is great, and should be running the football at the next level. Amen. I'm now imposing a month-long ban on "Around the Horn," though Woody Paige is still Denver money.

People thought that USC was arrogant in the game for trying to go for a "TKO" early with Leinart's interception, but letting Texas hang around the game is never a great idea. You should get after Leinart for being an idiot for throwing that pass, (and his comments later), but not for trying to go for an early win. That's USC's style, and that's what they should do. By the way, what was Matt Leinart thinking with the whole "we're still a better team" argument? You lost what was basically a home game- do you honestly think you would fare better in Dallas, Houston, or Austin? You also got outplayed by Vince Young, who did not manage to throw any interceptions that ended drives. I hope you get drafted by the Texans... and that you get booed, followed by a seat on the bench, watching David Carr lead the Texans to glory. Put that in your pipe, and smoke it.

Does anybody else think Donovan McNabb might be a more appropriate comparison for Vince Young? Vince's 40 passes in the Rose Bowl showed a willingness to stay in the pocket and throw the football, which already put Mr. Young ahead of Mr. Vick. Now, Vince is fast, but I think he's got the smarts to know that running every play in the NFL isn't in his best interests. And who cares if he goes early? The NFL teams won't change the way they draft because of the Rose Bowl... everybody knows USC can't play any defense anyway.

USC, you should have punted. I'm out.

poem.

Columbus

Share your fears with the capital city
Watch while it yields a new season
Of destinies and qualities, immeasurably variable
Its assessments are earnest; and without thrill
The winter chill keeps our flaws
Locked in place- unable to move
We stand together, frozen in place
Hiding imperfections in the Gothic Midwest.

the obligatory Vick-bashing post! yeah!

The Atlanta Falcons were 8-8 this year, and I'm not sure who to blame.

I want to blame Michael Vick.

I know it's not entirely his fault. Why T.J. Duckett got all those carries is too much for anyone to understand. Why the Falcons' defense fell apart is also beyond anyone's capacity to understand.

But we have to start thinking about Michael Vick and his receivers.

Atlanta has drafted receivers with its last two first-round picks. This attempt to upgrade talent has yielded one decent guy (Michael Jenkins) who is rather explosive and doesn't necessarily get the ball too much, and one guy (Roddy White) who's sort of unproven. Now, Peerless Price was a bit of a bust, but he did have success at Buffalo.

None of these three guys have succeeded in Atlanta. It could be their fault; but it could be Mike Vick's...

Brian Finneran, a Ricky Proehl impersonator, has succeeded, mainly because he knows how to get open when Vick inevitably breaks off his routes. So has Alge Crumpler, a big tight end who likes running the ten to fifteen yard routes that Vick is best at.

But Vick hasn't managed to learn how to throw downfield, and teams figured that out pretty quickly this year. Case and point: the Chicago Bears, who basically blitzed Vick at will, knowing he wouldn't be able to burn them deep.

Though the signs are there, Vick and the Falcons have remained unwilling to address the problem, because Vick is a great talent and is so unstoppable as a running QB. Many defenses, however, have started to figure out that covering the receivers downfield isn't a priority. They can contain Vick, because Vick helps contain himself by stubbornly refusing to use all his weapons. And he's still young, at the peak of his athleticism... what happens when he gets older?

Let's not forget the original Vick: Randall Cunningham. Statistically, Vick hasn't come close to approaching Cunningham, who always remembered how important it was to be a passer first. Now, Vick's not running out of time, and he's substantially more athletic. But he has to learn, and he won't see better results no matter how many receivers he has. And that's his fault.

Now, here's my idea: throw T.O. down there, and see what happens. T.O. would actually have a right to whine... and Vick might feel the heat to learn how to play QB, cause T.O. will come "get him some" if necessary. Let's call it like that.

so this is the new year...

here are my New Year's resolutions...

1) pass qualifiers
2) lose weight by exercising
3) increase studying by four hours a day
4) be more stable

which one will go first? i'm going for number four.