ask me no questions, and i'll tell you no lies.

lie to me. i promise, i'll believe.

sometimes, adults give good advice. so here's some good advice to greg oden.

leave college now. they don't understand.

i read the articles by gene wojciechowski and rick reilly. i think they're cute. for some reason, people criticize greg oden, and it's ridiculous. and to william rhoden: he's not maurice clarett. i realize that they were/are osu freshmen during their seasons of prominence. correlation? not equal to causation, my overzealous journalist friend.

if greg oden is going to learn anything from playing college ball, i'd like to know what it is. more than likely, he'll learn that life isn't fair, and that people are more than willing to lie to him to get what they want. that's an important life lesson that no one should ever have to learn. philosophize.

look, we all want to see oden play at osu some more, because we know he's going to own some people hard-style, and since we haven't seen that in years and years, we get some nostalgia-based utility out of it and make the selfish lie. it's a fair move on our part.

*** this brings me to an important point: while attending a football game at osu, i had a conversation with my friend nick about whether or not a kid should bring a flask into a football game when he's 19. i contended it was too young; nick contended that it was the perfect age, and when else could you get away with doing it? this originates the fair move concept on my part.***

problem is, it's not the right move. i don't know what oden will get out of being at osu again next year. if he returns, osu will be significantly better than the rest of the big ten, with the possible exceptions of michigan state and indiana. alando tucker is gone, and the rest of the big ten is decidedly weak; michigan and iowa need new coaches, purdue loses carl landry (who oden dominated on the defensive end), and so oden won't have much of a challenge for most of the year.

presumably, osu will find a way to schedule some of the following teams: north carolina, duke, florida, ucla, kansas, etc. this is the hope: if that doesn't happen, oden wasted a year of his life. he'll develop against cleveland state in the same way that i develop in a classroom of college freshmen: yeah, i learn some stuff, but i'm not at the limit. teach me about some sociology 101, please. i likes that.

what do we want out of oden? twenty and fifteen? we got that in the title game.

i don't know what's wrong with 13 and 9 in twenty minutes. that's a coach's *** dream. but it's not good enough for osu fans, who claim that he isn't ready for the league.

i watch oden on the court and he just looks sad. he gets some arbitrary fouls called on him, and goes to sit on the bench. players just fall over when he touches them. that's the strategy in college, and it will be for the duration of his time there.

oden was probably better than hibbert. that's saying something, considering hibbert is probably the best center he'll get to play that isn't on florida for the rest of his college career, however long that lasts. hibbert had a nice game, but couldn't control his foul troubles either.

i watch oden against florida and he is possessed. he is dominant in the post. he kills three men with his bare hands. noah is a lottery pick, for crying out loud. horford has to sneak around to get his points; chris richard is physically dominated, and he should be an nba pick.

is dunking on d.j. white going to help him? probably not.

i look at conley and i think: maybe he could get a jump shot.
(although, to be fair, does mike conley want to go in a draft with derrick rose, eric gordon, o.j. mayo, and an energized ty lawson?)

i look at cook and i think: maybe he needs consistency.

i look at oden and i think that he needs to develop his offensive game at the highest level.

here is something i don't understand: how will being in college help greg oden develop MORE than being in the NBA? if we want this kid to stay, we should be able to answer that question. what would lebron have gained from staying in school? what will kevin durant learn? tell me, please.

don't listen to the lies, greg. you're smart enough to pick up your degree any time you want it. you're also smart enough to know not to let osu take advantage of you for another year.